I thought I already did this in July when I went to the family reunion. We already knew my grandma's cancer was terminal and I wanted to say goodbye when she was still feeling good; when she was the grandma I had always known, healthy, strong, such a caretaker. But now that the cancer is consuming her fragile body, I think the time has really come to say goodbye. How do you do this? I mean I've already said goodbye to my other grandma. We held her hand as her spirit was taken to heaven, but she was really sedated and out of it in her last days. My grandma Betty, although in tremendous pain, is still able to talk and understand. I know I'll probably just cry like a baby...like I am as I write this, but I don't really know what I'll say. I know she's ready, prepared and oh so willing to leave the pain of this world behind, but it is HARD to let her go.
With all the excitement of babies being born lately, I can't help, but think that death is the reflection of birth. God is pregnant up in heaven. He wants his sweet child to come to the comfort of the beautiful home he's prepared. His child is still waiting, not quite ready to cross over. Maybe there is just one more thing that needs to happen, one more life to bless before their time here on Earth is done. I like to think of all the joy that babies bring their new parents and I know that that is how God feels when one of his children is risen into Heaven. It is comforting to know that she will feel such relief and peace when she leaves us, but it doesn't make it easier to let her go.
Christy and I booked a flight today to go see her tomorrow-Monday. I just want to give her a hug, lay by her and let her know I love her.
6 comments:
I was just telling my mom the other night that its so weird when you know someone is leaving this world. To me, their is a sacredness about it. Im sure to you there is as well since you have such strong beliefs in the Lord. It makes me comforted to know he will be the one caring for her. Summers will never be the same, and everyone will miss her (esp Gpa), but she will not be the one sad. She will know so much more. I sometimes think about the reunion that must take place in heaven. Ive imagined her reuniting with her parents, siblings, her baby she lost, and the Lord. Glad you will get to tell her goobye. She loves you guys a lot I know that. Never have I heard her mutter a bad thinga about you and Christy. We love you guys, travel safe.
Barbie what a beautiful way to look at that. Also I am glad you made the decision to go, you are such a lover and a relationial person and you are close to your gma and I think this is the best decision-I am praying for you-your lives Will bless her. As with your gma hellen just bless her with your presence and prayers. whenever to or more are gathered there God is in your midst.
love
mish
My heart aches for you and your family Barbie. It was like this with my Grandpa, he was so special to me. I know you'll feel the Comforter with you in this hard time. God Bless.
Barbie- Your Grandma is going to LOVE seeing you- I just know it. You are a dream Granddaughter. I hope it goes so well, and pray you're blessed a million times over for how you're handling this. I love you Barbie
Beautifully said Barbie. Your tenderness and love and understanding of God waiting for her--is very clear. Thank you for sharing.
Barbie I hope everything went ok during your trip. I know how hard it must be to say goodbye, but be give thanks to God that you got the chance.
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