The Diary of a Mom Who is Relieved to NOT be Potty Training

At about 10:30 this morning, I could no longer handle it. Aubrey hadn't gone pee since 3:00 yesterday, that's 19 1/2 hours. She was upset and didn't know what to do. About every 2 minutes she would get frantic and run to the bathroom to pee-pee, but still nothing. I didn't remind her at all. I tried to be as casual as possible, let her do her own thing. The only problem was, she doesn't know how to do her thing. She was frustrated with herself and in pain. Justin told me to call our insurance's advice nurse, so I did. After a few questions, she finally asked, "Now, how long has it been since she urinated?....Oh, wow, so more than 12 hours. And how long has it been since she had a bowel movement?...You need to get to an urgent care immediately." This is where I broke down into tears. I was mad at myself that I had let it get to this point. I had a feeling I should have stopped on day 1, but I kept going....mainly because I was worried about what others would think. Never again. Never again will I let my fear of being judged get in the way of making what I think is the best decision for my child.

We had already put Aubrey in a diaper and tried to encourage her to go pee in it, so that she would feel some relief. She wouldn't. In the waiting room at urgent care, we made like 20 potty runs because Aubrey wanted to go in the potty, but she couldn't. Finally they called us back and the doctor told us that he thought she would be fine, we just had to encourage her to go in her diaper. They would be checking for a bladder infection and impacted bowels, but because it had only been a couple of days, he thought she would be fine. I guess all the poking on her tummy, did something becuase she started whining about having to pee-pee and she finally (after 21 hours) went pee in her diaper. The doctor still has a sticky baggy thing on her to collect a urine sample. He said that there isn't any hurry to potty train and that she'll get it soon enough. For now though, diapers it is. She hasn't peed since, but I'm hoping she'll be back to normal soon.

I'm relieved that this process is over for now. I feel at peace with my decision to stop. Really I don't think it was a stubborness thing, but rather just not being ready. In any case, I'm glad Aubrey is feeling better and I'm ready for this (non)crappy (pun intended) week to be over!

A little reward for listening to my ranting:

Our cute girl's potty attire~

The Diary of a Potty Training Mom: Day 2

It's been an emotional roller coaster of a day for me. I can't decide what I think about what's been going on. I worry about Aubrey's health (from holding in her urine), but don't want to stop half way through. I plan on trying this tomorrow and if it doesn't work, we're done..for now.

As I type this, I, of course, am over analyzing our decision. Please, don't think it's because I'm inconsistent or because Aubrey is just stubborn or defiant. Really, it's the opposite. Aubrey wants to go in the potty...she REALLY does. She runs the the potty holding herself. She pulls down her pants...and sits...and sits. Then she's up again for a while, and she starts the pee-pee dance, then runs to the potty and sits...and sits. And this whole routine goes on for H-O-U-R-S. Literally, she is holding her pee in for FAR too long.

That's where I draw the line. My 2 year old hasn't pooped in 2 days and has only peed twice today, once at 11ish and once at 3:10. And both were after hours of willingly trying to get it done in the potty. At the 11 o'clock incident she was running to the potty (for the 10th time), crossing her legs, when she could no longer hold it (she hadn't gone since she woke up). She ran to the bathroom and took off her soiled clothes and did the potty practices willingly. About thirty minutes later she started the potty dance again. Finally, at 3ish, she started peeing on the floor while in the bathroom and with daddy's encouragement finished the job in the potty while crying because it hurt. We, of course, praised her and called all her "heroes", gave her a toy she wanted and a whole (that's what she thought) box of candy and really celebrated her success. Unfortunately, she never went after her nap, so the success didn't continue. So for today the count is 1 accident/ 1 semi-success...I don't like that this number only adds up to 2.

I think in her efforts to keep dry, she had gotten herself stuck and can't figure out how to let her pee go until her body can no longer hold it. In my opinion, and according to several articles I've read, this is not healthy and is a sign that she's not ready. Just in case it is a stubborness thing, tomorrow is the last day that I'll allow it to go on without success. As an adult who had kidney and bladder issues as a kid (I was born with three kidneys), I worry too much about her health to let these unnatural bathroom visits turn into unhealthy habits.

Really, I would rather her have 10 accidents than to just go pee twice. I know that it must hurt her to hold in that much urine. Honestly, it hurts my heart to see her struggle with figuring this out. I've been an anxious wreck all day.

The Diary of a Potty Training Mom: Evening #1

Aubrey took a DRY, 3 hour nap. The first thing she asked for when she woke up was her diaper. Of course, I didn't give her one, but instead we got started with the toileting trials again... and man has it been long afternoon!

We had 4 more accidents (all small ones) and NO successes. She always stops mid-pee in her accidents and starts whining. She doesn't like the feeling, but then when we go to the potty, she sits...and sits...and sits, but NEVER pees. She doesn't really mind running to the potty and going through the routine, but she seems really uncomfortable. She NEEDS to go, but can't figure out how. HELP! I've shown her, baby has shown her, daddy has shown her, but she just isn't going. I know her tummy is hurting. In the bath she kept telling us she needed to pee-pee, but when we'd get out to sit on the potty...nothing. Poor girl :(

We put her in a pull up for bed time because I don't want her to give herself a bladder infection. Tomorrow I plan on doing undies only again. Wish me luck...oh and if you have any advice, I have a few questions.

1. When I notice her crossing her legs and holding herself should I let her wet herself and go through the whole clean up/ practice routine or should I rush with her to the bathroom and make her try to pee like I have been?

2. Do you have any suggestions on getting the pee flowing?

3. Do you have any suggestions on getting her to sit on the actual potty longer?

My complaints about this method so far:

-It is suppossed to be fun, but you have to elimate basically all the "fun" things that they look forward to, ie: walks, the park, TV and movies. I think she feels like she's being punished because she can't do anything besides play with mommy and go potty.

-She's not used to being pumped full of junk food, so that only worked for the first few rounds, then she was over it. Grant it, she had already mastered the whole routine, but still hasn't successfully gone potty.

The Diary of a Potty Training Mom: Morning #1

Morning #1:

After reading, reviewing and making notes on Toilet Training in Less Than a Day, Aubrey and I embarked on a quest to be diaper free. So far, we've mastered the toileting process....with the exception of actually GOING in the potty. Aubrey is an expert at pulling her panties up and down, sitting on the potty, carrying the pot to the toilet, dumping it, flushing, etc., but not so much the actual going. We've had three accidents and no successes. The first accident was right after we had trained dolly and only had one real practice round ourselves, so it was expected. The second one, she stopped mid-pee and said, "Uh-Oh". We ran to the potty, but couldn't perform. About 5 minutes after getting up from the potty, while eating lunch, she peed all over the chair. She cleaned up, we ran our practice rounds, but Aubrey was getting a little cranky. She told me she was tired, so off we went for nap time...in undies. We're hoping for a dry nap ;)

This morning she wasn't really into the candy or treats (after the first few), but preferred entertainment rewards like piggy back rides or watching a video of herself on the camera.

I'll keep you updated on her progress. Any helpful suggestions would be greatly appreciated!!

Thankful Thanksgiving Thursday

My cousin Anna always does Thankful Thursday... what better day to follow suit than on Thanksgiving.

I am so blessed by all that I have! As a member of the (love the last line of the first article>)NOW generation , I think it's important to sit back and reflect on what I am truly thankful for. It is important not to get in lost in the wants of NOW, but instead focus on the thankfulness for all that I have. My dad and I were recently talking about my grandparents, and how they had a two bedroom house for the majority of his childhood. All four boys shared a room, and he doesn't ever remember feeling unsatisfied with not having his own room. That's just how life was. Since I can remember, my grandparents lived in a beautiful home with plenty of bedrooms for kids and grandkids, but this was something they worked their WHOLE LIVES for! Sometimes I yearn to live in a time where the focus wasn't on what we have, but rather who we have.

All of this to say, I'm thankful for...

1. My husband. I have a hardworking husband who prioritizes his family and his home. He always tells me I'm beautiful (even when I don't look beautiful). No matter how busy he is, he makes time for me and Aubrey. He's ambitious, kind and loving.

He even put up the Christmas lights last Sunday, just in case it rained this weekend.

2. My daughter. After having two miscarriages, I truly realize how fragile each little life is. She's healthy, beautiful (inside and out), strong-willed and just plain fun. She is a daily reminder of God's love for me. He is so good to have given me this precious daughter to raise in His plan.

3. My home. I have a home that keeps me warm in the winter and cool in the summer. It has plenty of space for my family to grow. I'm able to prepare my family meals. I live in a safe neighborhood. My home is cute and cozy, and I'm thankful for it!

4. The Christmas season that is coming soon. I love the magical feeling of Christmas time. The songs, decorations and trees. But really what makes Christmas the most amazing is the gift of salvation. God gave us his SON...so that we may be forgiven. WOW!

5.My parents. All of them ;) I wouldn't be who I am without each of their unique qualities. In the midst of divorces, marriages and everything in between, one thing remained constant...we were taken care of by each of them- and still are.

6. My extended family and in-laws. I've always been surrounded by an amazing family that loves me and when I got married that only multiplied. I'm thankful for my sister and my sister-in-law...they're like built-in friends ;)

7. A part-time job. If there is a year that I'm having a hard time being thankful for this, this is it, but really...I have a wonderful arragement. On the days where I work, I get to do my best to mold kids at a very influential age. On those days, I get to spend more time with them than some of their parents will. Not only do I get to teach them about Language Arts, but I also get to teach them how to be good people. And I get paid for it...a decent amount, too.

8. My days "off". Although these are probably some of my hardest days, because let's face it, taking care of 3 kids 3 and under is hard work, I am immensely blessed by my time with these three. I get to not only be with my girl, but also my niece and nephew. I get to take daily walks to the mailbox, the dirt or on the tree trail. I get to watch them interact and learn new things. I'm so lucky

9. My mini-van. So that on my days "off" I can escape to Papa CC's when I'm just about to lose it ;)

10. Cozy mornings like today.

Chemical Pregnancy

That was the diagnosis.



I took 5 pregnancy tests (two were from the dollar store). The first couple were 2 or 3 days early and were negative. Then there was the FAINT line on Monday. I mean SOOO faint that Justin thought I was seeing things. I got excited and Justin had me take the second one the next day to see if he could actually see a line. Still faint, but this time it was definitely a line. Justin was still skeptical so we bought a digital test. On Wednesday afternoon it was confirmed, PREGNANT!

We were elated and decided to wait until Thanksgiving to share our thankful news. I told Christy, but she was the only one. Until Sunday night. We had been at my dad's house and were getting ready to leave when I went to the bathroom and saw blood. Just spotting, but it was still blood. It was a long drive home. Tears were shed, but we remained hopeful that it could be implantation bleeding. It wasn't.

I woke up yesterday to a normal period. I was still sad, but it was an okay day. Aubrey and I got to relax together...just us. It was a cozy day and she was all about snuggling. Kim came over to provide some support and it was nice to just chat. I went to the lab to do some tests and my Dr. called late in the evening to tell me it was a chemical pregnancy. "They're very normal" he said. I'm just hoping they don't become "normal" for me. 1 in 5 pregnancies end in miscarriage...well I don't plan on having 10 babies, so I've had my fair share. Can someone send that memo to God?

Although not easy, surprisingly this one is easier to deal with than Baby Bee. Maybe it's because I was still in disbelief that I was pregnant. Or maybe it's because I know I have to put my hope in God. Because our God is good and he knows the desires of our hearts. There are plenty of women right here in blogland that are amazing testimonies of this. It's those testimonies that keep me going and make me EXTRA thankful for the beautiful daughter I already have.

*Many of you are shocked as you read this because literally I told no one but Christy. Our family just found out yesterday.

A pleasant visit, a funny story and other updates...

My mom has been in town for the last couple of weeks visiting. It had been since June since I had seen her, but for my sister, it had been much longer. She came to visit last February right after Christy had Reagan. That was the last time they saw eachother because unfortunately Brogan got sick right before our trip to Florida, so Christy wasn't able to go. We were slightly anxious about the visit because my mom brought her new boyfriend, Hugh. He's a very nice man, but we can't help but be protective of our mom...and for that matter, CC (our ex-stepdad). The trip went really well, despite our anxieties and we and the kids had a great time with Grandma Nancy. Unfortunately, I only brought my camera to Pioneer Village, so I missed out on several photo opportunities. Hopefully my sister or Hugh will e-mail me some.

The visit was full of many highlights from our evening at John's Incredible Pizza to the Fresno Zoo, but instead of boring you with all the details, I'll share a funny story. It's a kids say the darndest things story...one I'm sure little Brogan will appreciate when he's older.

As I mentioned earlier, my mom's new beau's name is Hugh. In her Pennsylvania accent, my mom usually pronounces the name "You". After much confusion on the phone when she would tell a story about "You" and I, she decided to start referring to him as Hughie...or as she would say it "Youie". My mom isn't he only one who has a hard time with this name. About day 4 of their visit (they stayed in my sister's 5th wheel on the side of her house), the house was quiet over at Christy's so Brogan asked where Grandma and Pee-ew were. Christy wanted to clarify what she was hearing, so she asked Brogan to repeat himself, so he did. At this point she asked him if he was saying Hugh or Pee-ew and he said, "You know mom, Pee-ew, like stinky". Christy corrected him and he went on his happy way. He, of course, really thought that was his name. As I know too well (I'm a teacher) once a name is stuck in your head one way, it's hard to correct yourself. The next day, after my mom got home from a little out of town excursion, Brogan (in his most genunine way) asked Christy if Grandma and Stinky were going to be home for dinner. Christy corrected him once again without breaking a smile, then proceeded to call me where we got a good laugh. Grandma and Stinky made it home safely last night and we're glad that we didn't do any permanent damage with the nicknames.

In other news...

Daddy's big helperWe've been busy working on Aubrey's big girl room. So far I'm loving all the details, but struggling with putting together the BIG PICTURE. Hopefully, my sister-in-law and mother-in-law can come by this weekend and help me get the furniture arranged and decorations up. Look for the big reveal in early December.

Also, since the holiday nativities have been at the stores, Aubrey CONSTANTLY talks about Baby Jesus. This season's favorite book is appropriately her baby Bible from my sweet friend Teri. She turns to the page with the nativity and talks about Mary and baby Jesus and makes mommy or daddy sing Away in the Manger. I think is pretty much the sweetest thing ever. I tell her as simply as I can about Jesus and the sacrafice that he made for us. I try to stay as serious as possible about the topic, but in all honesty her repitition of the term "baby Jesus" makes me giggle as I think of the movie Talledega Nights...this is totally normal, right? LOL

All I want for Christmas...

We're offically in the double digits of November, which means that Christmas is inching up closer each day. As much as this idea excites me, it also makes me a bit nervous. I have a LOT of shopping to do and, as usual, I'm at a loss when it comes to deciding what to buy. I love lists...especially ones that are flexible. Then you get what you want with an element of surprise. Last year I wanted more flats (shoes) and my MIL bought me the cutest pair of red ones, that are still one of my favorite pairs of shoes. I got what I wanted, and she got to have fun shopping and picking out a cute gift. I'm really hoping that my loved ones provide me with some lists this year.

For my family out there (Justin)...here's my list.

All I want for Christmas is...

A pie server/slicer...random I know, but I left mine at a potluck a long time ago, and I need one!

Cute necklaces...mainly on the longer side (I have a big neck) and in a variety of colors.

Little Stitches by Amy Butler- and maybe a gift card to Strawberry Patches.

A cute, brightly colored purse

An external hard drive to store my digiscrap stuff

...and of course the things I want, but won't be getting...

A sectional (in a darker tan color)

New floors

MY list for Aubrey (not necessarily what she wants ;) )

The coordinating sheets from Pottery Barn

A kitchen set (daddy is considering making her one)

One of these alphabet sets to use as decoration for her room.

Spring clothes and shoes.

High school and beyond

We went to Justin's reunion tonight. I'm not sure what my expectations were, but it definitely didn't live up to them. Out of the core group of 5-6 high school friends of Justin's, we were the ONLY ones to go. There were definitely people that Justin knew there (and a few I knew as well), but it was awkward and, well, just not the ideal way to spend our time/money. Really, I think Justin felt some obligation to go because the class president was the daughter of his old principal and Special Ed director. We would see her at their little poker get together and she would eagerly encourage us to go. Don't get me wrong, I didn't mind going, it just wasn't great. We did, however, get to dress up and have a nice dinner, and I think Justin had fun seeing some old friends.

I didn't go to my reunion because it was in July and I was in the 1st trimester of pregnancy. The sickness and exhaustion was really discouraging and, well, none of my close friends from high school were planning on attending. After seeing the pictures from the reunion, I was glad I didn't go. It seemed that many of the alumni were up to their old tricks and I would have felt uncomfortable. Although Justin's reunion was a much classier affair, it's sad to say that many of the people there were also a bit immature. As the class president was giving her speech, the ladies at our table (they ran out of seats, so we ended up sitting at a table with random people) were making comments like... "well, I didn't vote for you"....and...."sha..it's time to go get a drink" -like she wasn't worth their time. They also said things like..."if I would have planned it, I would have just had it at Trout's and charged $10 a person, because let's face it, people only come to drink". These weren't trashy looking women. They looked elegant, but they had such bad attitudes. High school revisited, I guess.

It's funny to reflect on high school because as much as I LOVED high school and everything that it included (spirit days, classes, friends, lunch time, football games, etc) deep down inside part of me was so intimidated by it all. Mostly this was at Garces (all 3 days I went there) and Stockdale, but I also felt this intimidation at West (Did you know I went to 3 different high schools?). High school kids can be cruel (so can adults) and although I'm pretty outgoing, I have a hard time being confident in myself. I remember reading my freshman yearbook when I went to Stockdale and it was full of comments like, "you're so quiet"...um HELLO...I am not quiet. It's just that I never fully felt comfortable there. At West my group of friends was actively involved and I guess I would consider us "popular" in our own ways, but I as still extremely intimidated by other social groups...ranging from the scary partier kids to the Bible club bunch. I still struggle with feeling confident in social settings (you would probably never guess) and hearing how immature those woman were tonight, made me revisit my insecurities from high school. I'm happy that my self-worth isn't defined by what other people think. Although I miss the excitement, silliness and camaraderie of high school, I don't miss the spiritual warfare that's inherent to that stage of life.

I always pray that when Aubrey gets older she'll be well-liked, but not popular (is that mean of me?). I think that popularity brings with it too much pressure to fit in. I hope that she always feels confident in the person that she is; the person that God created. I hope she's an encourager. That she's the type of person that others look to for a kind word or a friendly smile. I know that these are the type of people that mean people like to hate, but deep down inside, I know that those mean people need the friendly smile the most.

Speaking of friendly smiles... here's the weekly run down of picures.

Aaron's girls had a triple birthday party!

Happy 30th Allyson!

(Did you know she might be blogging soon...YAY)

Henry was happy as a clam the whole day.

Ally's parents have my dream house. Check out this back yard.

Carefree in the country.

TWO and FOUR!

Alyssa and I created the winning pumpkin(s)

in the creativity category at Christy's pumpkin party.

Cindy Lou Who

A Seuss is a Seuss,

and sometimes a silly goose.

(my attempt at a small rhyme)

The birthday boy, uncle Kurt.

Cousins

Dressy Casual??

Isn't that an oxymoron? I know what dressy means and I know what casual means, but what the heck is dressy casual?

Justin's 10 year high school reunion is this Saturday. I've know about it for a LONG time and I bought a dress for it about 3 weeks ago. Because the tickets were $80 each, it was at 7 in the evening and it was being held in a nice local hotel, I assumed it was a semi-formal function. It's not like I bought a formal dress, but I would definitely say it's dressy. Justin saw the dress, liked it and because I never really have time to shop, that was the end of that. I finally found shoes tonight and bought a necklace. I was trying on my ensemble and we were discussing what Justin would wear when I made him go grab the flier to discuss it all. The invitation says to wear dressy casual attire. This is where I freaked out. Was I going to be way over dressed? I got irritated that Justin had never mentioned this and now I'm not sure what to do. Honestly, with a wine and cheese party on Friday night with one of Justin's bosses, my mom coming on Saturday and the reunion Saturday night, I don't think there is time to start from scratch.

Here's what I have so far:

A black, fitted bubble dress

(sorry about the poor picture quality)

It's a little longer on me because I'm short.

Basic patent leather black peep toe heels

This necklace from Target- it isn't super long and pretty much fills up the whole upper chest area

I'm thinking that maybe I'll return the necklace and go for one of the longer wrap type of ones...maybe in colored beads?

Help me make this outfit "dressy casual" instead of semi-formal!

I totally should have posted Halloween and birthday party pics from last weekend, but I'm being self-absorbed instead ;)