I took 5 pregnancy tests (two were from the dollar store). The first couple were 2 or 3 days early and were negative. Then there was the FAINT line on Monday. I mean SOOO faint that Justin thought I was seeing things. I got excited and Justin had me take the second one the next day to see if he could actually see a line. Still faint, but this time it was definitely a line. Justin was still skeptical so we bought a digital test. On Wednesday afternoon it was confirmed, PREGNANT!
We were elated and decided to wait until Thanksgiving to share our thankful news. I told Christy, but she was the only one. Until Sunday night. We had been at my dad's house and were getting ready to leave when I went to the bathroom and saw blood. Just spotting, but it was still blood. It was a long drive home. Tears were shed, but we remained hopeful that it could be implantation bleeding. It wasn't.
I woke up yesterday to a normal period. I was still sad, but it was an okay day. Aubrey and I got to relax together...just us. It was a cozy day and she was all about snuggling. Kim came over to provide some support and it was nice to just chat. I went to the lab to do some tests and my Dr. called late in the evening to tell me it was a chemical pregnancy. "They're very normal" he said. I'm just hoping they don't become "normal" for me. 1 in 5 pregnancies end in miscarriage...well I don't plan on having 10 babies, so I've had my fair share. Can someone send that memo to God?
Although not easy, surprisingly this one is easier to deal with than Baby Bee. Maybe it's because I was still in disbelief that I was pregnant. Or maybe it's because I know I have to put my hope in God. Because our God is good and he knows the desires of our hearts. There are plenty of women right here in blogland that are amazing testimonies of this. It's those testimonies that keep me going and make me EXTRA thankful for the beautiful daughter I already have.
*Many of you are shocked as you read this because literally I told no one but Christy. Our family just found out yesterday.
9 comments:
I am SO very sorry to hear what you are going through!!!! You have been through a lot, but you are sure strong in your faith!
I will pray for God to reveal His plan to you soon!
God Bless You and your husband right now, lots of prayers being sent your way!
I'm so, so sorry and sad to hear of another loss for you, Barbie!! You've been in my prayers these last months, and you will continue to be, even more so now. I know you trust in God and His perfect plan for you and your family... and I am so thankful you have that comfort.
I'm sending lots of hugs your way today, along with the prayers!!
So sorry Barbie. We're praying for you guys.
You're in my prayers Barbie. :)
Ug, ug, ug. S000 not the news I have been praying for. I love you so much Barbie and continue to be amazed by your faith and your strength. Hang in there. I will be praying for you EVERY SINGLE step of the way. God has given me such a huge passion for gals and their babies.Big Hug.
I'm incredibly sorry to hear this. My heart is just breaking for you. The last miscarriage I had was also termed a "Chemical". I'll definitely be keeping you in my thoughts and in my prayers. If you ever need someone to talk to.... kourtini@yahoo.com
God Bless you and your precious family.
I am so sorry to hear about this Barbie... and please know that you are in my prayers. God has amazing plans for your life, and even though these miscarriages are tragic and heartbreaking, I am constantly amazed at your upbeat attitude and positivity, even though I know you are hurting. You give me hope and courage to look toward God through the dark times through your amazing example. Hang in there, and know that we all love you and support you through these hard times! :)
Oh Barbie, I'm so sorry. :*(
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