My thoughts have been kind of all over the place lately. I think of blogs to write, but can't find the time or inspiration. I feel like I've been going non-stop since the end of summer. I'm lacking time to process everything that's been happening. Basically this was my life for the last 3-4 months: 1. pregnancy=lack of motivation/feeling yucky (I found out on the 3rd day of summer break) 2. Feeling more like myself, some motivation (short lived) 3. Miscarriage 4. Confusion/trying to occupy my time and keep my mind off focusing on the negative 5. School/ babysitting = absolute CRAZINESS and no time to function or process life, for that matter. I've been really anxious lately. I can't pinpoint the exact reason, but it's usually because I want control and have difficulty handing that control over to God. I have one 7th grade class this year in addition to my sixth graders and it sucks having to reinvent the wheel for just one class. I really hate the timing and arrangement of this class, so it gives me anxiety about work. Then I have Brogan, Reagan and Aubrey on my days off and 3 kids is HARD! My life is spent feeding, cleaning, changing, warming bottles...repeat cycle. We usually have one really good hour from about 8:30-9:30 am. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't change our arrangement for the world, but my days are BUSY. I'm anxious about how I'll handle it all if I do get pregnant again. I'm also anxious about why my stinkin' period hasn't come yet. Ahhh...I hate anxiety, but I can't seem to escape it lately. I definitely need to spend more time in the Word and less time on this computer. ;)
In the midst of all the insanity, I've also had some really great times with my two
closest friends. These girls really know me and love me, as I do them. I feel so blessed that Meg has moved within driving distance and Mish was here to visit for a few days. For the
2nd year in a row, all three of us got together to connect, and it was so refreshing.
My weeks have also been blessed by tons of celebration. All our little ones celebrating growing up together. It's exciting to see these precious babies turn into little people. I love being around family and friends and just feeling comfortable and connected.
Finally, there's all the newness.
New house,
new car (Oh yeah, did I mention that I'm officially a mom now...I got a mini-van on Saturday),
new room, new year of Bible study,
new church building,
new chapter of an amazing adventure, etc. I love newness, but sometimes it gives me anxiety too. (I'm hoping this anxiety is just a symptom of PMSing)
Some pics to go along with the babbling :)
(We took Aubrey and Christian to Russo's for reading time and we ran into Talia's SIL Jessica and her precious kids. She's such an amazing woman. Sorry if my double chin and pig nose distract from this picture of all four of us. LOL ; ) )
Tonight, as we all got together to celebrate Jacob's return to riding the spine!How's that for an update?!
5 comments:
So glad to see a post from you! Ive been wondering how you are! Im so proud of the van purchase. Thats the same kind as ours. I dont care what anyone says they make life easier!
You teaching 7th graders too this year Im sure is challenging, but what lucky kids!
PS-Your comment about 2 kids being hard kind of horrifies me! Seriously...12 weeks to go!
Woah! You're right- that is quite an update! Barbie, the progression of things in your life the past 4 months has been completely non stop and challenging! I know you don't bring it up here for sympathy obviously, but my heart breaks for you that not only has it been non stop, it's been a complete emotional rollercoaster.
You got a minivan???? Ohhhh I am so jealous. Did you trade in your liberty with CC? I bet it's amazing, I can't wait to see it!
You look beautiful in your dress at school!
Oh Barbie. You have been through a lot, both physically and emotionally. It seems perfectly normal to me that you would feel anxious, especially with everything on your plate. How awful that you have to do that one 7th grade class. I will be praying for you.
But YAY for the minivan! WoHOO!
seriously, you have had a crazy time of it-- both physically and emotionally, and you do so much. It's no wonder you are feeling slightly anxious and maybe a bit overwhelmed. I'll be praying for you as you teach your class and care for all those kiddoes too. My goodness, you're like wonder woman. :)
I also hope you get your period back soon... I know it is so not fun to have no clue what is going on with that. Just getting it at least gives you something to go off of and a little peace of mind!
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