Diary of a Potty Training Mom: The FINAL Chapter!

You may want to refresh your memory on Chapters 1 2 3 4 5 & 6

...and that was only the first attempt at potty training. I didn't even document attempt number two last July. But this is it folks, the final chapter. And, man, have I learned a lot along the way.

First, and foremost, all the sayings are true: every kid IS different, you don't see 20 year olds who aren't potty trained and when they're ready, THEY'RE READY! All supporting points for my conclusion that reading Toilet Training in Less Than a Day was a huge waste of my time! I mean some of the suggestions were good, but after reading it, I basically got the feeling that this method WOULD work unless you had done something wrong. I know it probably does work for 90% of the people who use it, but what about that other 10%? It left me feeling like a failure. Add to that the social pressures of potty training your child before they are three, and I truly was starting to doubt myself as a parent. Did I somehow break my kid? After all, this potty training issue makes her the "special" 3 1/2 year old that is still in the 2 year old Sunday school and preschool class. Forget the fact that she can write her own name or carry on a more descriptive conversation than some of my sixth graders...

After last July's attempt at potty training, I decided I was DONE until I was absolutely, 100% SURE that she was ready. I knew she was smart. I knew she understood the concept of going in the potty, but I also knew that she was so worried about failing that she could potentially be damaging her body. And it wasn't worth it to me. It was freeing to just decide I was over it, because in all honesty that's who was really concerned about it, ME. I was worried about others judging me, so I was pushing Aubrey before she was ready. Not this time!

For the last few months Aubrey has peed in her diaper in the morning and then asked to wear panties during the day. We, of course, obliged. Usually around 4 in the evening she would ask for a diaper and we would give her one. She'd take care of business and repeat the process the next day. The exceptions were of course preschool days, but even on those days she RARELY would have to be changed. Once we got in the car she would ask if she had a diap on and proceed to pee. The girl has some AMAZING bladder control. On a few occassions she would ask to sit on the potty and try to go...and three different times she had successes. I was pretty sure at this point, the diapers were a crutch. Thankfully, this good friend was potty training her daughter also and had a similar experience with #2. Once they got rid of the crib (Gracie's crutch), Julie told Gracie that she had two choices: her painties or the potty. It worked for her, and based on their similar personalities, I had a hunch it would work for me.

Last Saturday, we were out of diapers. Aubrey knew that when we were out, we were not getting any more. She had been keeping track of them too. She woke up excited about our potty party, but by afternoon she was asking for diapers. I told her that we were out, but she had two choices: panties or potty. On the other two attempts she HATED having accidents. We never made a big deal about it, but I think she felt like she had failed. I really think that hearing that her panties were a choice, was good for her. And she chose panties the first time she peed. As she was peeing she said, "Mom, I'm going in my panties. You can just clean the carpet, right?" I told her that was fine, but she would be cleaning the carpet with me. Next time she chose potty. One more panties before bed. To be honest, I felt like the accidents were almost as big of a victory as the successes. She wasn't the ball of stress that she was the first couple times we tried to potty train, so she wasn't holding it for INSANE lengths of time. I felt like it was going to work this time!

It's been three days since then and we haven't had a single accident. She's even gone #2 twice (which seems to be easier for her than peeing). Everytime she goes in the potty, she says, "I'm just so proud of myself". Seeing her self-confidence radiate makes all the past troubles worth it!