Warning: female pregnancy content
I've had some bleeding since last night and I'm terrified. I know that there is nothing I can do to control the outcome of the situation, but I can't help but circulate ideas of what I could have done to cause the bleeding. Was it because I overdid it? Did I lift something too heavy?
It's not heavy bleeding, just spotting for the most part. It's brownish sometimes and bright red others. I don't really have cramping, but more like a dull, aching pressure in my lower abdomen and back. My Dr's office is closed today because the Doctor has surgeries scheduled all day long.
He called me and said that the placenta attatches to the uterus and sometimes breaks a blood vessel that causes bleeding. He said I need to be on bed rest for the next couple of days and has banned all funny business for a week. I want an ultrasound for some peace of mind, but he doesn't seem to think that is necessary. I'm having a hard time being content with that answer.
Being content, having faith, I guess that's the true test. Yesterday we were at the Mercy Me concert and before they sang Bring the Rain the lead singer talked about how ALL things serve God's greater purpose. Of course I KNOW this, but I question whether I have ever really had to BELIEVE this...if that makes sense. I've only lost relatives that had lived a long, full life. I was at peace with their passing. I've never had any real "faith testers". God has provided me with the Joy, the Peace, the chance to be free, and some pain, but He has been so good to me. I don't really want "the rain". I know it sounds selfish, because it is (isn't that our human nature). I have faith and I know that God has a beautiful plan for my life and the life of Baby Bee. I know that no matter what happens with this bleeding, that I already have a beautiful daughter and a wonderful husband to be thankful for, but I really am not sure I want to deal with the rain. Or maybe the bleeding is the rain. This quiet time I'll have for a couple of days is meant to be faith building and time to spend with God. I hope that it's just a scare and that everything is okay like my doctor says, but I really need prayer that if it isn't....if God has other plans for this little baby...that I will be able to be at peace with God's plan and even when it seems unbearable, grow from it.
17 comments:
Ahhh, tears for your poor heart having to be so patient and strong. Unfortunately I know so little about what actually could be going on medically. But your perspective Barbie- is incredible. Your honesty about the rain- really blows me away. Lord, rain down your mercy on Baby Bee and Barbie. Protect this little one. Literally cover Barbie's body with peace. Cause the bleeding to stop. Form this baby so perfectly. Speak to Barbie while she's resting- a peace on You can give. Somehow, SOMEHOW, bless her these next few days.
I'm hoping this won't sound trite...
Had some similar bleeding/spotting the first few weeks I knew I was pregnant. And some cramping. Not sure if it was around the same point in the pregnancy that you are at right now or not. It did go away though and from what I understand it's pretty common when the attachment part is going on.
Hope that brings you a little comfort.
Many, many prayers for you and Baby!! I can imagine how hard this is right now, not knowing, worrying, wondering what to expect. I'm so sorry, and I will be thinking of you until we hear the next update (hopefuily a very GOOD one).
The Lord be with you! I can see He is already giving you much grace.
Barbie-
I know what you are going through right now. I had a similar situation with Ethan and I was so scared. I thought for sure that I had over done it because we were in the middle of a move. I just lift you, Justin and Baby Bee up and ask that God provides everything you need physically, spiritually and emotionally.
So happy to hear that your doctor said that this is the attachment phase-and trust that. Also praying for you all as I know it is not easy to just trust that. And soo awesome that you are seeing this time as a way to draw nearer to God.
"Without faith it is impossible to please God"
Barb the Lord is building your faith!
You will see the goodness of the Lord..I pray philipians 7-10 over you that his peace which passes understanding will guard your heart and mind!
I had such a good time with you at the concert last night. You have become such a dear friend to me. I'm praying for you Barbie. I know Baby Bee is in the Lord's hands.
k I'm crying. I just talked to you, and we know things are, for now, okay. but these comments, and the things you have to say, oy. it is true, this is building your faith. this is one of those situations where we have to truly surrender everything, and completely rely on God, knowing He knows what is best.
I'm here for you, and I'm praying for little Bee...=)
I am praying for you. I had bleeding with Canaan and I was terrified also. Obviously everything turned out fine and I understand that it's pretty common, but that doesn't stop the worry when you're going through it. {{{{{{{ }}}}}}}
Oh Barbie.. Kurt and I will be praying for you, Justin, and little baby bee! We love you guys so much. Call me if you need any help with the kid (or anything for that matter) while you are on bedrest. We are here for you guys and pray everything wil be ok.
Hello Barbie,
I don't even know you but I came upon your blog at just the right time. I am 9 weeks pregnant and experiencing exactly what you are going through. I too am terrified but am clinging to the Lord and believing that if it is his will a healthy baby will develop. I will pray for you. Just wanted you to know that their was someone else feeling the same way that you were.
Take care!
I know how you feel and I will be praying for you...I had similar symptoms when I was pregnant with Kayden and was put on bed rest for a week. There are many people lifting you and baby up right now...may God give you rest in Him!!! He is faithful!!!
p.s we were at the concert last night too...pretty amazing!!!
SARA
Hey Barbie,
So sorry you're having to face the unknown - the first trimester is such a scary time anyway.
I really feel like God has given you such a wonderful perspective and place of trust. We will be praying for you and the 'bee. Lots of love,
Annie
by the way, just got an ADORABLE package in the mail from you today! I LOVE the blanket with Ellie's name and the sweet diaper/wipe pouch. So fun!!! Thank you so much
Barbie-You better know to call me or email me if you need to talk. Ive so been there. Its hard. I dont agree with the doc on leaving you hanging! Rest all you can and pray all you can too. We love you!
I am so sorry to hear you having to go through that. I am sure it didn't make it any better with your doctor not being opened either. Stephen and I will be praying for you. If you need any help give me a call. Ross and Preston would love to play with Aubrey I'm sure.
praying, praying over here for you and baby bee. you are so brave to write this post. i hate the spotting, had it with at least two of the pregnancies. hang in there!!!
Praying for you all right now. I love hearing your heart. And you are so right... the rain is the hardest but the most revealing and amazing way to wash away our unbelief. As hard as it may seem, and as scary as it may be to pray the prayer of faith, He never disapoints and already He is using you and growing you. Praise God! You are amazing and I love seeing Him shine in you right now. Love J
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