Roller Coaster

When we went to Disneyland in February, Aubrey's favorite ride was the roller coaster in Toon Town. She would get giddy with excitement as we waited in line. She loved to put her hands up as we made the first big climb. She thought she was brave... This is where her expression would drastically change. She would cling on for dear life as we went down the first big hill, and her face was full of fear as we whipped around each and every turn. The first time we rode, I was sure she would want nothing to do with that roller coaster ever again. WRONG! I think the fear, made the ride even sweeter for her. "AGAIN, AGAIN," she would shout. Each trip was the same routine. Excitement turning into fear that led to more excitement. It was the anticipation, the wild ride, the unknown that she enjoyed so much.

I guess that's the beauty of life. You never know what God had in store for you around the next turn. I feel like the last year, for me, has been a roller coaster ride. Only, when I got in line for this roller coaster, I had no clue that it was drastically different than any I had been on before. This was a ride I hadn't anticipated. Yes, it started out with initial nervousness and excitement. Then there was fear. And times when the ride took me down a journey that I never wanted or expected to be on. I'm sure my face, like Aubrey's, was full of fear and intensity. I tried to stay focused on how it would be at the end of the ride...the excitement of it all. It seemed that just as I would get a small rush of adrenaline, the fear would consume me. Many times, I've felt like this was it...the big turn where the real fun would begin, but alas I have had to wait. Here I am, over a year into the ride, and I'm still not sure where it will take me. I'm thankful that I have an almighty God who is in control of it. I know that no hill, no turn, nothing is too big or scary for Him to navigate. The problem isn't Him, it's me. My own fear and anxiety. My desire to control the ride I'm on.

I know that our God is good and that this wild ride will eventually end. I'm sure I'll look back on every twist and turn and realize that the ride wouldn't have been nearly as awe inducing without them. At the end, I look forward to eagerly saying, "again, again" because it is the fear, the adrenaline, knowing you survived it, that makes every roller coaster worth it. I know it will be worth it.

Here's to this being the FINAL hill on this roller coaster ride!



**If you are from my work and you're reading this, keep it on the down low please. :) (Kathy, I think you're the only one)